The past three weeks have been a challenge, to put it lightly. But I am trying (really trying) to find the positive in it all. Today is day two of a migraine. The second one I've had in two weeks. The last one I was sure was caused by tons of crying and grieving over the loss of Daddy, but this one, it hit me out of nowhere. Three Advil Liquigels, an allergy tablet, and caffeine did nothing for it yesterday, but by the time I decided to do something about it, it was bed time. It will be better in the morning, I told myself. Not so. The dreaded Imitrex was the only option left, and it makes me so groggy, nauseated, and overall horrible feeling. But I am alive and my husband and children are healthy (and home, might I add.)
Anyway, I missed yet another day of work. Sleep, dry mouth, and muscle cramps followed. This afternoon when I finally felt like finishing laundry and maybe vacuuming, I stepped on a scorpion. At least it wasn't a copperhead I told myself. At least a bear didn't maul me. Okay, so that was an attempt at humor. At least I have that.
Then I think of the Good Lord above. Jeremiah 29:11 promises, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. " Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
I worry about the future. I worry about whether I'm doing what God wants me to do. I worry if I'm doing the job I'm meant to do. The list of worries just continues to lengthen. Why? Why do I worry when He promises He has a plan for me, a plan to prosper me and give me hope. Even hope that days will get better in this pit of grief. I'm sure the migraines are not helped by the worry and stress over things I cannot control, yet I still do it. I still can't seem to get it together. But God can and He does. And I just need to trust Him and give it to Him. Keep things in perspective and try not to be so hard on myself. Since He knows the plans He has for me, I am going to be just fine. This I know. That gives me hope. And a future.
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